NOV 29

24: NOV 29 - 6. Relationship, Community, and Happiness

From Csiksentmihalyi:
"A relationship that leads to order in consciousness instead of psychic entropy has to meet at least two conditions. [The complexity of friendships correlates with the complexity of our minds. Big-brained creatures need complex interactions.]

The first is to find some compatibility between our goals and that of the other person or persons. This is always difficult in principle, given that each participant in the interaction is bound to pursue his or her self-interest." 81
The second condition for a successful interaction is that one be willing to invest attention in the other person's goals not an easy task either, considering that psychic energy is the most essential and scarce resource we own.

Friendships don't always last, but while they are good they don't habituate - they are always changing and referenced to our lives. Csik: Claims friendships don't habituate because people are always changing. If you continue to share goals and investment of energy, the pleasure never dies (until you do).

From evolutionary sciences. Our ability to invest in friendships is part of a complex evolved set of behaviors that do real work for us. Behind the pleasure of friendship there is real practical benefit. Friends are potential cooperators in meeting life challenges. (Story of friend with transactional view of friendship.) Real friendship are not transactional, but all friendships involve a feeling of reciprocity.

Advanced education and the careers it opens up often require cultivating a capacity for solitary work. Knowledge work is often solitary (Academics have higher utilization of mental health benefits than other workers.) - But also other kinds of work. (Tech jobs, jobs with lots of screen time.). For highly educated Americans, establishing a career often involves moving several times without any context for the new environment than education or a job. (Unlike our early contexts for friends - family, school with shared experience.)

Do you think your transition from Gonzaga will pose challenges to forming new friendships and gaining satisfactions from friendships? What are some of the things about your approach to relationship that are sources of strength or challenge in this transition? Do friendships (of various kinds) come easily to you?
If you were advising someone who was moving to another city and was concerned about not having proximate friends, what would you say? What would you ask them about their approach to forming friendships? What strategies would you suggest to them for finding connection with others in a large town or city that is new to them?
Is the cultivation solitude part of a contemporary strategy for happiness in US culture?

Do you have a generally positive or negative view of your own social media use?
What, in your experience, have you learned about how to use social media positively, or, with less negative effect?

Independent evidence of increase in high school students experiencing "persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness." 2011: 28% 2021: 42%. But this trend may have started before the big increase in S.M. use for this age group.

Facebook papers - unscientific, but internal research. 2021: body image and teen perception of s.m. as cause.
Haidt's focus on teen girls may be plausible.
Study suggesting that feeling in control of you social media use may be an indicator variable of health use.

Effects may dependent upon specific use patterns.
Study showing no correlation bt screen time and well-being in adolescents.
"Screen time" too broad a concept.
Ecological fallacy - you don't know if people reporting poor mental health are the screen users.
As with TV viewing research, alot depends upon what else you are doing or not doing. Time with friends or physical activity may have a protective effect.
Self-fulfilling prophecy. Telling people its hurting them may cause them to believe that even if it's not true.